This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
