Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
