New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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