it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
