but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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