I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i need some magic done to my vagina
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
