Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
