We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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