she was so not down for the gang bang
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
