so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
