my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
