Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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