never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
