Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A bitchslap is in order.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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