i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
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Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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