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• (248): View more from Michigan

  sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (334): View more from Alabama

  Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  And I meant every ounce of it.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?

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• (845): View more from New York

  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.

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• (415): View more from California

  After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome

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