I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.