I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
