sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome