Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.

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(805): View more from California

he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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(503): View more from Oregon

I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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(208): View more from Idaho

That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

(208): View more from Idaho

Especially drunk mermaids.

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(229): View more from Georgia

I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend

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