Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
