Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
