remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
