I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
