from now on my penis is your penis
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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