I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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