were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
