He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
