Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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