I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
