He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He better not be in your backpack
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
