I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
