my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
