I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This house was built for laser tag.
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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