you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
