So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
