I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
