she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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