I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
