I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
