he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
