U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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