Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need water and some morals
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
