Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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