you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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