the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
