M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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