Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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