I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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