This is not my ceiling
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she told me i tasted like america
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
