I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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