Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
