Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i came on her dog
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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