Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
