my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
