super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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