Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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