mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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