She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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