All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
