I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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