Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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