One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
