i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize