stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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