I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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