These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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