the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
